Loving Christmas Again
- Lora K.
- Nov 30, 2017
- 4 min read
Let me begin by saying that this is my favorite time of year... or at least it used to be. And I would like to get back to loving the holidays once again. I don't want to be a bitter or sad every year when Christmastime comes along. I want to create happy memories for my family, enjoy all the fun that comes only once a year and truly celebrate the birth of Jesus with joy. After all, without Him we wouldn't have Christmas... and because of Him, Shelby had a place reserved in Heaven when her earthly body grew too weary. This, my friends, is a season I need to fall in love with again! But how?
Knowing that this was coming up, I started seeking out ideas on how to get through, and possibly enjoy the holidays this year. I checked out books, blogs and even Pinterest to no avail. There were plenty of ideas out there, just none that spoke to me. So I made my own list. What did I expect from Christmas this year? Within a week, I had over 150 items listed that included things I wanted to do or experience over the holidays. That was way too much expectation, even on a good year. So I started crossing off the things I would be content to set aside this year in search of a simpler holiday that I could treasure and enjoy.
When I got finished crossing things out, I was left with only a few items... very few. To get a tree early so I could enjoy it all season, enjoy some Christmas lights in one of those fantastically overly-decorated neighborhoods, listen to lots of Christmas music, give only thoughtful gifts from the heart and attend Christmas Eve service... even if we are traveling. If I only accomplished these FIVE things, I would be content.
That was great for me, but what did my family expect out of Christmas? My husband and I had already told our extended families that we are leaving town for Christmas so that the three of us can get some distance and make some memories with new traditions. This meant that all I had to focus on was my husband and my youngest. But my husband told me he would be happy skipping Christmas altogether, while I figured my nine year old would want to do everything possible.
So on a short plane ride from our home to my mom's just last week for Thanksgiving, I cornered them at 28,000 feet... "Hey guys, we need to have a quick family discussion." (Imagine groans and painful facial expressions here.) "Christmas is going to be tough this year without Shelby, but I want to have some happy memories to look back on, not just tears." My husband teared up, but they both agreed with me. "So I think it's important to consider what is important to each of us, so we can plan on doing just a few meaningful things, and so that we aren't disappointed about not experiencing our most favorite things."
I shared my short wish list, and they nodded their heads in agreement. Then I asked them about their wishes and expectations. The first thing my daughter asked was, "Can we put some gifts on our list too?" I told her that she could make a long wish list for Christmas and mark her favorites in order of importance, as usual. That could be separate from our short lists of expectations. Relief!
She wanted to bake cookies with me to give to friends and family, watch a few Christmas specials, put up lights outside, go ice skating and see Santa Claus SOON. Wow! That was surprisingly simple... except for the lights. But I could make that happens. My husband wanted to go caroling with the neighbors and KEEP IT SIMPLE! That is all... easy peasy! Right?
Fast forward a few days... we had returned home, my husband left town for two weeks to attend his Masters program, my youngest was asleep in bed, and I was up late putting up Christmas decorations. It had been a bittersweet day, reminiscing over all of the ornaments as I put them on the tree. Shelby had received so many ornaments during her 13 years, and she had so many amazing teachers that made ornaments with her, and put her handprints, footprints and picture on so many of the ornaments. I was missing my big girl, but so thankful that I had these mementos... that I could place my hand over the tiny handprint Santa and reflect on the days when she was so very small.
I went to bed after decorating the tree, and I felt a sense of contentment. It was still November, and I already had one of five items crossed off of my wish list. Now I will be able enjoy my tree the entire month of December. I also set the DVR to record a few Christmas specials for my youngest and contacted neighbors to confirm an evening of caroling for my husband. I know this holiday season is not going to be anywhere close to easy! But I am hopeful that by sharing our expectations as a family, and by keeping our schedule simple, we can experience as much joy as possible this Christmas.
